PRATFALL

‘Help me, someone up there!’, I yelled

‘The ‘shepherds’ down here are all wolves’

‘While the ‘pillars’ have become tillers

Of the fetid fields of all humankind’

‘I am trapped…..trapped, am I

In this distorted ‘Underland’!‘

Now hear, my friend, how this came about:

Gullibly I’d jumped for a gilded carrot

Dangling enticingly from a tree

And fell into a covered hole below

Head over heels into a deep and dark pit

I tumbled disoriented and flailing

Unable to tell up from down

Nor, in truth, good from bad or sideways

Hitting bottom I looked like an ostrich

My head stuck so deep into muck

But then after getting unstuck

I was eye-to-guilty-eye with Lil’ Bo Peep

Whose poor sheep she had brutally fleeced

Beside her a girl in a red riding hood

Held the hoary hand of a sweet grandma

Well, upon closer look, a randy TRANS-pa

No wonder such a schnozz on a dainty Nana!

So they informed me I’d fallen way down

–‘So goody goody, for you!’ –

Into ‘The happiest place on earth!’

Where a mouse-boy zigs

And his mini mouse-girl zags

And a goofy dog barks ‘Ga-yuck!’

And by golly I had to admit

As I quickly looked about

The scene before me enthralled and glittered

Colors were blinding, so bright and neon!

Then they’d dim, then fade, then blur

They’d dissolve and twirl and swirl

Then somehow drain away

Like water through a sieve

I guess I blinked…and it all went

The sparkle glitter neon and all

Instead came lumpen shapeless forms

Emerging from the darkening gloom

(Inside my mind was fairly screaming:

‘Somebody turn the lights back on!’)

I looked up seeking the hole I’d fallen

But could barely see a pin-head of sky

No matter…I couldn’t jump the height

I tried clawing my way back to the top

But fistfuls of dirt just gave way

And deeper I sank in mud-soaking mire

Had I really thought this would be fun?

This nonsensical upside down MAD-ness:

This Mutually Assured Destruction-ness!

Reality here was UNreal, even tricky

And even up top, some things were icky

Like, why’s the notorious ‘Osama Bin Laden’

Made up of the slogan ‘Obama and Biden’?

Regardless, I’d lived in frivolous abandon

Not thinking too hard about irony

But now was seeing the BAD similarities

Both worlds filled with Behaviorally Asinine Deviants

‘Be happy, don’t worry’, a song in my head

Telling me skip to my loo and just go to bed

Who was I kidding? I was scary SAD

That hole I fell in had started to flood

Becoming a Satanically Arranged Delusion

For my mind had become unhinged

Nothing in that place made sense

The absurdities couldn’t be counted

That forsaken hellhole claimed ‘rule of law’

But whose law? I began to wonder

No sooner my thoughts neared ‘eureka!’

There was such a raucus and clamor

Such loud echoes of hootin’ and hollarin’

The pain in my ears was mind-boggling

They were shouting about ‘the Supremes’

Oh, how I liked that group’s songs!

My sore heart lifted at the prospect of music

Yet this racket was not due to a concert

But the sage decree of five pompous men

Supreme Court justices who’d opined:

‘Men may marry men, and women, women’

It was now the law of this Underland!

‘And soon, the whole earth!’      

The mob shouted and added

‘So let the bawdiness begin!’

And people’s clothes flew about my head

And they tugged and pulled at mine too

I hid, holding tight to my shirt tatters

Then I felt the earth’s first shudder

And a rumbling–more like a groan

Fine bits of dirt fell in my face

The revelers, of course, took no note

But I feared we’d be buried together

In the earthquake I could feel coming

And there seemed no way of escape

No ladder, no rope, no way to get out

Every tunnel was stuffed with BADs

The dirt made muddy tears on my face

As I sobbed ‘spite the revelry around me

I yearned for the sweet air up above

I mourned it and was so sorry

And imagined myself talking to God

Down on my knees

My hands even grabbing His feet

I admitted I’d been wrong for so long

I’d ignored the warnings of his Letter

Warning danger in dark holes like this

So sure I was I’d make my own way out

My remorse was profound and deep

While large clods now fell on our heads

I cried out to the True God above me

‘I’m getting my just desserts’

‘Too late, I love you and all you created’

‘For it’s all so much better than this!’

Ready to die and resigned to my fate

I decided my last act would be prayer

The falling dirt was up to our knees

Though the BADs just kept at their party

I turned to the wall determined not to watch

And before me a small crack seemed back-lit

Amid ever-louder rumblings and booms

My eyes remained fixed on that light

And unaccountably, I saw there a hand

A hand which I reached out and grabbed

A tight-gripping hand, a strong armed hand

And it pulled me up to a shallow grave pit

There I clawed and crawled up on the grass

Sobbing my thanks to Almighty God

In the name of Jesus’

God’s own son’s dear name

So in wonder I was of God’s grace

The truth I’d ignored overwhelmed me

That all that glitters is not gold or good

That giving up God’s ‘real life’

For glitz and hype will only lead to death

The price to be paid for believing the lies

Of the slimy followers of a certain snake

Becomes for us an eternal debt

A weight that embodied this truth:

That it was in his own blood sweat and tears

That Jesus paid off for us that debt

While even promising another chance

I was never so joyous, so GLAD!

For I came up from that deep pit to find

That even in me there is still something

In which GOD Loves And Delights

 

By Jahgirl
07/05/2015