A 21st century phenomena
This unseemly hunger man has
For this age’s plethora of ‘super heroes’
A fascination spreading like a fungus we can’t shake
Not for unsung heroes of uncommon courage
Or athletic prowess or simple kindness or generosity
But the kind that blasts it’s ‘super-ness’
Across the big-screens of the world’s theaters
Huge, bulging-muscled, flying, bunker-busting ‘heroes’
Fantastical in their created ‘Alternate Realities’
Movie-makers have conjured up quite a slate
Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Spider Man, X-men
The Flash, The Hulk, Thing, Silver Surfer and Thor
Captain America, Wolverine, Daredevil and more
Including the most recent old-time hero
A resurrected and re-tooled Wonder Woman
A Year-of-the-Woman she-ro!
But now, there’s an unlikely spoiler in this group
Probably the greatest AR ‘superman’ of them all
Variously called Father Christmas, St. Nick
Santa Claus
Or, as I like to call him
Satan Claws
For not one of the aforementioned ‘supers’ above
Can match Mr. Claws’ super-amazing feat
To deliver a slew of toys in the same short night
Many even artfully wrapped!
To all 3 billion children upon the Earth
I’d guess all those other ‘super’ folks
Should maybe take a look and discern
That a costume change might be smart
For Mr. Santa/Satan’s unique style of note
Is the blood-red and baggy trouser
And a totally uncool foppish floppy hat
His ill-fitting boots do not hug his legs
But flop and droop about
Actually, I guess he looks the antithesis
Of what they’ve envisioned a movie ‘hero’
But what this thought-poem’s all about
Is that Mr. Satan Claws is
The Biggest Fattest Super ZERO!
By Jahgirl
01/14/2018